Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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