What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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