I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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