And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
