i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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