if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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