smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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