My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
