So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
