Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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