Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
