rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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