I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
