Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
