Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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