GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
its not stalking. its research.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This baby is an asshole
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
