feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
