I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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