The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
