D3 body, D1 cock
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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