I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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