Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
