walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize