I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
