All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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