can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
