I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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