if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
