It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize