On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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