hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
