And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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