the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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