She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
