never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
