god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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