he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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