This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
