He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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