it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
