i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
