I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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