You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
