well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize