I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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