I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
