My room smells like vodka and shame
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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