Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Non-Jews are for practice
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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