It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just high enough for therapy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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