Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
