all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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