Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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