I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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