Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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