Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize