I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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