mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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