Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
