But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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