I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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