I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
