You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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