you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
